My thoughts on this so far..

I started my morning with a mile walk around the local park across from my house.. for those of you that know me will also know that just because I am round.. that is not a shape thats good for me or anyone for that matter .... the walk was hard.. and I asked myself many times.. why did I let myself get so out of shape? I never came up with a good answer.. just got lazy I guess... idk...lol


Anyway, on my walk I had to stop a few times to give my legs a rest... everytime I rested I prayed to GOD to give me the strength and the courage that I will need to complete this mile walk.. I talked to GOD along the way and at every rest... and at the end of my walk, I thanked GOD for helping me make it through.


Now.. I am not a bible thumper and not trying to convey any scripture, GOD knows that I have not been to any Church for a while.. but I do have a personal relationship with GOD and I pray to him every night before bed and I thank him for all of the good things ... and bad things in my life, I pray for my enemy and my friends.


Whenever I rested today.. alone.. no headphones.. nothing but myself, GOD and nature... I said "dear lord.. this is so hard... I'm hot... no water fountains... all of a sudden a strong breeze blew down on me... it was such a relief... then I thanked GOD for that..


Rested a few minutes then back to walking...


everytime I rested.. I took in my surroundings.. I listened to the tree leaves flap in the wind.. I watched the ants march on under my feet at the bench... seen a few birds scurrying for food... The skies are blue with wispy clouds... There is no way you can live on this planet and look around and honestly believe that it is all here by chance.. GOD put it here for you.. and for me.. to enjoy life, live, laugh and love ourselves and one another.


Started to remember verses from the bible.. one was something along the lines that our bodies are vessels for our soul.. to take care of our bodies, not to mark them, not to abuse them.. all were lessons learned early in life for me.. but as I look at myself now.. I still ask myself where did I go wrong on this?


I still don't know... but I have made a start to change... My doctor told me that if I don't exercise, eat right and get this surgery.. my Diabeties will kill me bc it is out of control and I will not live to see my grandson graduate 8th grade.. those words really hit home for me.. I'm only 43.. I have a long life ahead of me and it is my choice if I want to live or die.. I have a lot of things I want to do still..


I know I am starting ramble here folks, bear with me. i love all of you.. thanks for your support!


Wayne -